Trust Issues

I’ve been struggling with trust lately.

Trust of and in the people around me. Scared to face disappointment so much so that it is preventing me from living out my life, and be my authentic self.

Then I read Romans 8:35-39 and I realize that at the root of it all is my desire to control what happens to me. If I don’t share a part of myself, or become vulnerable, then people can’t hurt me. I will be forever safe in this bubble I’ve created free from the pain and scars inherent in rejection, disappointment, and heartbreak. But by creating this bubble, I lose the opportunity to touch others and be touched. The love and fellowship with others that God has placed inside me to crave will never get satisfied if I keep putting the world at arm’s length.

The world is never going to be perfect. I am definitely not perfect. In fact Romans 8:36 says:

“For [His] sake we are killed everyday; we are being slaughtered like sheep.” Meaning that as a Christian, trouble is already prescribed for us no matter what we do. Yet, “victory is ours through Christ…” {verse 37} Jesus has overcome the world and there will be a day we will get to stand with Him in all His glory. But in the meantime, my job is to let go of my aloof attitude and understand that as His most loved child, I can trust Him to take care of me, take care of my fragile heart. 

So as I pop this bubble today, I’m signifying that I’m ready to love, trust, and hope. Not because I can trust man again, but because I trust God to take care of my relationships, and thus my heart, because “our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the power of hell can’t keep God’s love away”.

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