Say My Name

Ahhh, Starbucks 🙂

Famous for their lattes, coffees, and controversial Christmas cups, but also notorious for spelling their customers’ names wrong; at least they never fail to get mine wrong.

Eben, Ebony, Eboon, one time I got an Evelyn.

Sooo…I go by “Mary” now every time I step up to, what I’m sure, is a well meaning Starbucks barista. 

But no matter what name the world wants to call me, that’s nowhere as important as what I call myself. You see, I am very good at forgiving others but when it comes to forgiving myself, I can be ruthless. I am my own worst critic and it took God himself to show me the harm I was inflicting on myself. Being the amazing surgeon He is, He operated on my heart, sliced it open, and showed me that I had gone as far as calling myself names that I had unconsciously adopted.

Names like, “Unworthy”, “Unlovable”, “Undeserving”. With tears in His eyes, He tells me that He never gave me these names. As He gets to re-sectioning, I realize that my ears were faulty too because I had become deaf to His call; I simply didn’t relate to the names he had for me.

When He called me “Chosen”, I would be quick to turn towards someone else whom I thought ‘looked’ more qualified than I was, applaud them, and then keep walking because God could clearly not be referring to me.

When he called me “Gifted”, I would try to write down the gifts and talents I brought to the table, but each time I pulled out a sheet of paper to write them down, I would have an uncanny case of writer’s block.

When he whispered “Beloved”, I would recount all the sins that I had committed in the past 12 hours alone, and that was never hard to enumerate.

It was until He cut me up, excised this malignant tumor called self deprecation, wiped my insecurities, and stitched me anew with the threads of His promises, that I realized that I am who He says I am because I am His. Before I knew Him, He purchased me with His own blood, and automatically, I became valuable.

Just like that!

I didn’t have to work my way into it, I didn’t have to prove my case, I didn’t even have to know Him first. To Him, I was worth dying for 2000+ years ago, and that makes all the difference. 

So are you. You are not who you say you are, but rather who He says you are: a child of the Most High and it’s about time we started seeing ourselves as one, so we can act and respond to His mighty call upon our lives. 

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