My Why

Photo by Simon Migaj from Pexels

Three years ago, I found myself with a prestigious degree in one hand, while running after another. At home, I had a loving family supporting my back, and all the opportunities and glory of the world glowing before me, but my heart was as gapingly empty as the Grand Canyon and as foggy as a harmattan December in Port-Harcourt, Nigeria. On the outside, I looked like the epitome of success, budding with what the world would label as “potential”, but on the inside was a nagging I could not shake. I couldn’t help but feel like I was supposed to be doing something else, following a different path, and the fear that all the accomplishments I had worked so hard for were completely wrong, destabilized me. 

Strip me of my accolades, and who was I, truly? Why in the world would I come this far to all of a sudden feel miserable? Why was I no longer pacified by my usual pick-me-ups (working extra hard at school for self-approval, attending comedy shows for laughter, spa weekends for relaxation, and family/friend quality time for comfort)? 

After countless sob-filled nights, depressive bouts, and the intervention of a concerned parent, I was finally able to listen to the voice that was trying to get my attention all along. It was a whisper that manifested consistently in mysterious heartaches, and enigmatic dissatisfaction in things that normally would satisfy. I realized that my Heavenly Father was tugging me at the heartstrings to get back to Him – to find Him as my sole reason for this life I live and to surrender my reputation for the sake of trusting His will and agenda to be manifested through me. He wanted to take me on an intimate journey with Him where my many walls would be broken down, and my spiritual vision acuity corrected from 20/100 to a 20/20 accuracy into His true plan for my life.  My character also received a makeover that developed out of trials and triumphs that he would bring my way. Simply put, He wanted to be MY God. Not academic degrees, not the applause of others, not societal standards, not my desires, and not even my mama (love you mum!) could be my god.  He, wanted all of me, but He was gentleman enough to ask, albeit tirelessly, until I finally agreed.

It started by reading His Word. Every day, taking a verse, a chapter, or sometimes even just a sentence from the Bible, and meditating on it. Simply asking Him to help me understand and see beyond what the typewritten letters were saying and how He wanted me to apply it. And I started to write down whatever He dropped in my heart, made notes, so I would remember our conversations and thus have something to encourage myself whenever I forgot our moments together. You, my reader, are witnessing the product of those dates with my Daddy. This blog is a collection of the love notes, advice columns, and reprimands I receive from above. I share them because I have finally found my “why”.

That gaping hole I talked about earlier? I found my cure, and there is no better feeling in the world, literally, than knowing one’s purpose for living, knowing one’s assignment, knowing one’s why. 

So, what is my why? 

My why is to encourage the snot outta others. Pardon the overt imagery, but my passion and gifting is in uplifting those I come across. My why is to fight to hold the mirror to as many individuals as I meet and reflect the King and Queen they truly are. The spirit that is meant to dominate this world with power, love and a sound mind, lives in you, and it’s my mission to present the true you to… You!

We live in a world where the devil resides, and his job is to obliterate that mirror, infuse low self-esteem so we marinate in guilt, shame, and fear, so that we don’t even realize that we are a King’s kid, with more authority than the devil himself. And so, as a result, he controls like a puppet master.

But oooohh, the devil is a liar ya’ll! Don’t believe for one minute anything that tampers with your worth. Know who the heck you are! And if you don’t know, let me remind you:

You are a child of a King. Think about that truly. You are RO-YA-LTY! 

You are born of God, which means no evil can touch you!

You have the mind of Christ, so you have peace that surpasses all understanding.

You have the power to command a thousand demons to flight, because He has given you authority and power over the enemy in this world.

You are more than a conqueror, simply because you are a joint heir to Christ.

There is nothing you can’t overcome because you are not ruled by fear, but given power, love and self-control.

As royalty, you don’t lack, because your Daddy supplies all your needs, according to His riches in Christ Jesus. And personally, I will not stop until I hear the words I long to hear from Daddy: “Well done, my good and faithful servant,” (Matthew 25:23, KJV).

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2 Comments

  1. Adeola
    September 27, 2020 / 2:27 pm

    Deep truth in the reality of whose we are. Great insight to surrender to His perfect Will where lies the juice of living to the fullest in His Peace and provision.
    So uplifting girl, thanks.

  2. Joy Gbade-Obisesan
    September 27, 2020 / 4:09 pm

    Hmmmm!!! my big baby, you can say that again and again .
    Hitting me hard but rightly ‘spot on’ too.
    Thanks for a timely reminder .

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