It was another summer weekday morning. I woke up and felt heavy all over my body. I could not move. My hands: slightly; my neck: yes; the rest of my body: paralyzed. At first I thought I was suffering from the aftermath of one of those intense HIIT body workouts, when I remembered I hadn’t even set foot in the gym in the past month! Panic set in. I fumbled with the slight hand movement I had, to call the one person who would get me immediate help (my mother), and I waited.
From the time I hung up the phone to the time help arrived, I questioned God, audaciously. Why would he let such a horrible thing happen to me? Didn’t he see that I was all alone in my apartment and it was dangerous to paralyze me with no immediate help? What in the world was he thinking?!? Can’t he tell that I have things to do?? I was afraid, upset, and extremely angry with God, and queried why He would allow me go through this pain, which I could not trace to anything. Looking back now, I find it absolutely beautiful that I serve a God that isn’t intimidated by my strong emotions and queries towards him.
Needless to say, this was definitely not what I had in mind for my day. There were store errands to run, lunch dates scheduled with my girlfriends, and laboratory experiments to check up on. I thought that I couldn’t afford to miss out on any of these, because it would mess up other self-made schedules in the months ahead. As tears welled up in my eyes due to the utter lack of control I possessed, I whispered a few words of prayer, asking God for his help. As I prayed, the Holy Spirit whispered these exact words: “I need you to let me be in control.”
Now what happened next was really a back and forth between a jealous Father who felt that his daughter was replacing his Kingdom agenda for hers, and a naive daughter who adamantly felt she was already giving her Father the time he “deserved” through her already scheduled church attendance on Sundays, and weekly church volunteer evenings. I eventually realized that I was never created to accomplish my own agenda. The sole purpose of my creation is to worship Him – daily.
The Bible says in Psalm 150:6,
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
Jesus mentions in Luke 19:20 that if his people keep silent, the stones will [praise] him.
Can you imagine that? If you fail miserably at God’s assignment for you, He can replace you, even with a non-living thing. How embarrassing for the lifeless to achieve what the lifefull can easily achieve; yet, it took me being as immovable as a rock to get this principle.
I don’t believe Covid-19 is our problem. This pandemic is the world’s paralysis. God isn’t sitting on His throne going “Ooops, I guess I never saw this coming!” Nahhh fam. Our God is too big for this and completely in control. He is getting our attention for His glory.
Please understand that fear, panic, and anxiety are NOT His agenda; that would be the devil’s. I know this because my favorite verse states that:
“God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].” 2 Timothy 1:7 AMP
We must remember that as heirs to the Kingdom, we possess the power to get through this, the love to bestow on one another, and the ability to stay sane by trusting He has already overcome this.
As someone who has surrendered to His kingdom agenda, I have learned to be sensitive to His leading in situations like this. He wants my worship. He desires our worship. We are mostly preoccupied with our own agenda that we leave out His plans for us. It has taken something insignificant and microscopic to shut everything down, even powerful nations.
So I encourage you to pay attention to Kingdom details during this lockdown season. Use this moment of stillness to give Him the honor due Him in all aspects of our lives, enter His courts with praise, surrender to Him in worship, and allow Him to speak to you in this time.
Now if you desire to completely surrender (or re-dedicate) your agenda for His, activate your dominion as a child of God, and get to party it up with Him after this life, the Bible says “that if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 NIV
Lord Jesus, I confess my sins and ask for your forgiveness. Please come into my heart as my Lord and Savior.
And just like that, the free gift of eternal life is yours! Welcome to the family!